Reagor saw a second doctor that week, and an MRI revealed swelling on one side of the brain. Some of Reagor's teachers were skeptical-she didn't remember much of what she had learned in the previous three years-but they decided to let her continue because she had been such a strong student. She didn't want to be behind in her classes when her memory came back. After learning what a week meant, she estimated that it wasn't too far off and decided to return to school just a few days after the accident. She remembered one of the doctors saying it would take two weeks to recover. My aunt had to drive me around town and talk to me to calm me down."Įveryone told Reagor she had been "responsible." She looked up the word in the dictionary it sounded like something she wanted to be. I started crying and putting clothes in a bag. I figured wherever I went, I wouldn't know anybody, but they wouldn't have to feel sad that I didn't know them. Reagor saw an airline commercial (after learning that much of what happens on TV isn't real) and decided, "I wanted to get on a plane. Her loved ones' unhappy reactions made her feel panicky and desperate. But it sounded like someone else's life, and, she says, "It was making me crazy." She liked to listen to R&B, old groups like the Temptations. They said she was close to her grandmother. It was the cat."įriends and family showed her photos and old videotapes of Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations, but there was no order to the stories, just little explosions of the past she couldn't arrange into a self. "I saw something moving in the hallway and didn't recognize what it might be. Nothing registered when they arrived at her aunt and uncle's spacious two-story house, where Reagor used to stay on the weekends. After she was discharged from the hospital, Reagor was too frightened at first to get in the car with her mother, whom she still didn't recognize. Self-help and pop psychology books often advocate living in the present moment, but it can have its drawbacks if you have no alternative. The errant football had accidentally and substantially transformed Reagor into a new person. Most of us make the same assumption, and most of us are wrong. Sure, there were discoveries to be made and talents to refine, but Reagor figured her basic personality was pretty much formed. Until the accident, Reagor, now 22, had assumed that she knew who she was. The Reality of AmnesiaĪ convenient plot device in the movies, amnesia unfolds differently in real life. After a CT scan, doctors concluded Reagor had suffered a concussion and amnesia (see "What Is Amnesia?" below), expecting her to be back to normal in about two weeks. I'm your mother!!'"Īll Reagor knew were the stunned faces around her, the question after question about what she remembered, the medical equipment that kept prying and jabbing. ![]() "She asked, 'Who are you?' and I said, 'It's me. ![]() "She was just like a child," says her mother, Lashawn McKinney. "I had to ask, 'Y'all know what she looks like? Because I don't.' My head hurt really bad and my eyes were on fire." She didn't remember her mother, grandmother, aunt, or nephew. "I heard my mom was coming," Reagor recalls. The group scoured Reagor's cell phone for relatives' numbers and rushed her to the hospital. My friend Shea said, 'Oh no, this is not good.'" I pulled a card from my pocket that had my real first name, 'Shamekqwa' on it, but I couldn't pronounce it. When I woke up, I couldn't remember who or where I was. ![]() "In the morning, the whole right side of my face was swollen. Reagor slept at her friends' apartment that night so they could keep an eye on her. There was no signal indicating the blow was about to change her life. Her friends hurried to help.ĭazed but still conscious, she assured them she was fine and spent the rest of the game on the sidelines. When it struck the side of her head, she collapsed. "I don't remember it, but I heard one of my friends threw the ball to me too hard," Reagor says. She and some friends decided to enjoy the late afternoon sunshine by tossing around a football. She had been a senior at Texas Woman's University, a top student studying for a B.S. Then she remembered October, and the accident. "What is this?" she thought, peering a bit angrily at the mirror. ![]() The image didn't resemble the easy-going college student Reagor knew herself to be. She must have liked this shapeless silhouette once, because her weight hadn't changed and everything in her closet fit the same way. Her brown hair shot away from her scalp in spikes, and her brown shirt and pants hung off her body. And who she thought she was.ĭenise Reagor stared in the mirror at an image she barely recognized. Forget What You Know About Amnesia and MemoryĬan amnesia change your personality? In the case of Denise Reagor, concussion-induced amnesia fundamentally changed who she is.
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